Why Am I Never in the Mood? Ayurvedic Reasons for Low Libido in a Loving Relationship

What do you do when you love your partner, but your body doesn’t respond?

Anjali couldn’t explain it.
She adored her partner. They shared meals, laughter, even lazy Sunday mornings in bed. Emotionally, they were close. But physically, she felt far away.

Each time he touched her, she froze not out of fear, but from emptiness.
She wanted to want him, but nothing stirred.
No desire. No spark. Only guilt.

She searched the usual phrases at night:

• "Why am I never in the mood?"
• "Low libido in long-term relationships"
• "How to feel sexual again after emotional burnout"

The internet offered hormones, therapy, even supplements.
But it wasn’t until she stumbled upon a passage from the Charaka Samhita, an ancient Ayurvedic text, that something clicked:

“When ojas is depleted, the desire to unite withdraws. Replenish the ojas, and longing returns.”

Understanding Ojas – The Root of Desire

In Ayurveda, ojas is the vital essence of life. It governs immunity, emotional stability, and sexual vitality.
When ojas is strong, you feel radiant and open.
When depleted, you feel dull, disconnected, and uninterested in intimacy even with someone you love.

Ojas gets depleted by:

• Chronic stress
• Emotional overwhelm
• Sleeplessness
• Lack of nurturing touch
• Overstimulation from screens and noise

Desire does not disappear. It hides behind exhaustion.

The Night Anjali Chose Restoration Over Pressure

She told her partner the truth.
“I love you. But I don’t feel anything right now. I think my body needs care, not sex.”

They made a pact. No performance. No expectation. Just touch, softly and slowly, to rebuild her ojas.

Each night, he warmed sesame oil and massaged her feet.
They sipped saffron milk. Played soft instrumental music. Slept heart-to-heart, fully clothed.

For four nights, nothing changed. But on the fifth night, she looked at him with new softness.
She leaned in. She kissed him.
Not from duty. From desire.

Ayurvedic Rituals to Rebuild Sexual Energy

Ojas is restored through consistent nourishment, both physical and emotional.
These practices were traditionally used to help women and men reconnect with their sensual selves:

• Abhyanga: Self-massage with warm oil to ground the nervous system
• Ojas-building foods: Saffron, dates, almonds, ghee, warm milk with cardamom
• Touch without goal: Hold each other in silence before sleep
• Restorative routines: Early bedtime, nature walks, breathwork, minimal screen time
• Scented rituals: Jasmine, rose, and vetiver oils to awaken softness

Reflection

Instead of asking, “Why am I not in the mood?”
Ask, “What might my body need to feel safe again?”
Could it be rest? Warmth? Silence? Slow affection?

At Indraya, we honor slow reawakening.
Desire is not broken. It is buried beneath the noise of modern life.
Through Ayurvedic practices, ancient wisdom teaches us how to listen again.

Want more rituals rooted in Ayurvedic sensuality and Kama Sutra practice?
Follow us on @indraya.in for your next step.